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THE STRAIGHT UP
Feb 2009
The Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails ONLINE! | Mar 2009 | Jan 2009

Yo Ho Ho
and a Case o' Captain Morgan

02/25/09 09:58 AM Filed in: Chit Chat | Photos | Biography
He’s the 17th man on the dead man’s chest, the guy who puts the “high” in the high seas, the master of mayhem whose bucket-banging percussive panache would make Keith Moon proud and turn Neil Peart green with seasick and envy. Yes, friends, we speak of the one and only St. Pauli Dangerously, aka The Brown Tornado.

St. Pauli on the


Pauli is rumored to be the direct descendant of one Edward Teach, best known to history as Blackbeard the Pirate. It’s been reported that The Tornado (you can call him Brownbeard) has been operating in the North Atlantic, the Caribbean and has even been sighted on the Hudson River and Lake Oscawana.  A Gemini, sporting the rare two dark sides, The Tornado is also rumored to have a lucrative consulting position with the Somalis. Fathers, hide your daughter’s booty!  

 St. Pauli on the


Recent photographic evidence suggests that when he’s not slamming the skins with the LGC, that he’s been known to go aloft on his square-rigged ship “Queen Anne’s Revenge Again.” This photo courtesy of an anonymous officer serving on His Majesty’s ship “Doubtful.”

St. Pauli on the

This Friday

02/18/09 11:17 AM Filed in: Event | Performance | Bar
... thrill to the death-defying, buzz-supplying sexploits of America's most inebriated rocknroll upstarts, The Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails!

sunset-09-0213

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Calling all LGC Fans!

02/06/09 01:40 PM Filed in: Event | Performance | Benefit | Animal
Get your Heart On for a great cause. Next Sunday the 15th, our best fiends, The Scared Stiffs (featuring the LGC’s own Otto Wino on guitar) are gathering up a great Post Valentine’s Show to benefit The Putnam Humane Society and The Putnam Valley Dog Shelter. 

There are lots of things those poor little kitties and puppies need, so check the poster to see how you can help. And if you wanna bring something to help feed the humans, that would be great, too.

The whole thing happens from 2-8 at the Putnam Valley German American Club. There’s going to be a ton of talented performers, some Roller Derby Girls and a whole lot of people giving of themselves to help out the animals! Come on down!

Valentine's Benefit Flyer
(click the poster for a larger image)

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