Drink Up, Throw Down, Throw Up
Meanwhile the LGC are busy planning their costumes and calendars around the return of The Scared Stiffs — rising from the grave for two nights of bone-chilling, flesh-eating Halloween fun. Whoever said “rock is dead” must have just come from a show creature-featuring these guys!
Oh yeah, may we once again recommend the latest LGC libation below — THE BRAIN HEMORRHAGE. Never has a more disgusting cocktail been more appropriate for a holiday — seriously, this thing looks like a pavement oyster suspended in formaldehyde... ENJOY!
1 oz Peach Schnapps
1 tsp Bailey's Irish Cream
2 drops Grenadine
Pour the Peach Schnapps into a large shot glass. Slowly add the Bailey's and top with the grenadine.
Oh, by the way (shssssh), Mystery Gig in November....
Wanted. Sort of.
Have you seen this guy?
Neither have we. Not for a long long time. Goes by
the name of Jeff Valley, aka Subdude -- our smarmy
manager.
Since he beat those morals charges and cleared up
that nasty business in Venezuela, you would’ve
thought he might resurface, but this shadowy figure
is nowhere to found. Last week’s raid on the local
motel on Rt. 6 turned up traces of his blood, two or
three other people’s blood, a horribly disfigured
still smoking souffle and liberal amounts of vaseline
and battery acid. But the trail was cold by the time
the feds kicked the door in.
It’s actually kind of a misnomer to refer to him as
our manager. After all, the only work The Cocktails
have ever gotten through Jeff Valley were disasterous
gigs at a nursery (nothing but shrubs), a nursery
school (nothing but pink eye) and a near-riot at an
Al-Anon Meeting. Still, we gave him another chance --
the promise of that Superbowl Halftime gig did sound
rather appealing.
Little did we realize it was all a ruse -- nothing
but an excuse to get back into our good graces and
into our Band Kitty (the stash, not the feline,
although we wouldn’t put that past him either).
So here we are again, broke as the day we bought
Harvé a keyboard, all because we put our trust in a
guy that managed to run himself over with his own
van. So when you see us again at The Sunset House in
Peekskill on February 15th, please throw money at
us, or at the very least, show us your boobies.
And if you spot Jeff Valley lurking at one of our
gigs, give him the following message -- “We still
love ya man, Boy George tattoo and all.”
Gore Gets Gorgeous!
It’s our favorite time of
year again: When terror turns tacky, lawn art
celebrates death and dismemberment, sugar-stoned kids
in serial killer costumes roam the streets, and gore
gets gorgeous! Halloween, baby! A great excuse to
dress up and down some deadly grog before heading out
with a dozen rotten eggs and some toilet paper.
Normally the LGC does Halloween to death with a
mega-party, but this year we’re laying low and
staying home, stuffing razor blades into apples.
(Translation: learning new songs.)
Fear not - we’re saving it all up for the Sunset gig
on Friday, November 16th. In the meantime, here’s
some embarrassing shots from last year’s Halloween
Hootenanny at the legendary Sand Bar (R.I.P.).
Turning tricks and getting treats… smell my feet!
RUMOR OF THE WEEK – Dickie Mellonball was actually
born Micqui Mellonball, a 9 pound 8 ounce bouncing
baby Mexican girl.
Rumor no more!
in Newtown on December
7th!
Hot Shots on 130 Mt Pleasant
Rd.
Raucus Roll!
If you missed Chris’s B-Day bash at Seany B’s in Millbrook, you
missed an unforgettable night (which is weird,
because I forget most of it). Scraps of memory
include blurry visions of extreme rock ‘n roll
excess, free-flowing booze, gifts, cameras,
lesbian kisses and -- courtesy of Arlene (Her
Highness of Master-Baking) -- a Lifesize
Gorgeous Dragon cake that tried to eat ME. Oh,
and viciously good sets from Chris’s
cherry-picked band of go-to gunslingers, as well
as the rode-hard-and-put-away-wet real fuckin’
deal, Steel Rodeo.
The LG Cocktails, of course,
burned like a thousand suns until
they flamed out in a sonic supernova of
monitorless magma that somehow, but not
unexpectedly, included Dino.
Special thanks to Johnny and Thea from JV Productions for getting us lubed up at the pre-party party and to Plushie and Gary for putting us up (and putting up with us) at Club Bubble. And to all our friends who show up all the time -- you know we love you!
Next up – THE SUNSET HOUSE in Peekskill on November
16th. Every third Friday of
every month - we’re there, so you be there.
There, there…
Then, get your ghoul on and go see The Scared Stiffs (featuring LGC’s own Otto Wino) Saturday October 27 at the spookiest Stompfest of all – Frankenstein’s Fortress in Stanfordville, NY.
NOTE: New photos up from the October 5th Sunset House and October 13th Seany B's shows.
RUMOR OF THE WEEK – The LifeSize Gorgeous Cocktails crack Connecticut for the first time when they (allegedly) might appear at Hot Shots in Newtown on December 7th -- a day that doesn’t necessarily need any extra infamy, but we’ll be more than glad to provide it.
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