The Band Flips the Bird
First, get ready to put the gorge in gorgeous as the LGC returns this Friday, November 20th, to Sue’s Sunset House to offer themselves to the hungry fans who undoubtedly would like nothing more than to tear apart our collective carcass and consume our flesh (wait, which frikkin' holiday is this?).
Then, it’s back for seconds on Sunday the 22nd at the German American Club from 2-9 as we join the cute-as-a-button, but decidedly un-toilet trained Hey Baby to celebrate another year of the only paper that matters in New York – More Sugar. Come out as we tip our hats, cups, bartenders, and take off our shirts to the Prince of Pulp – Tom O’Reilly, with a BIG assist to Contessa of Cool - Karen Collins.
The Luscious Lushes will be there to whip the crowd (literally) into a frothy frenzy, and if that’s not enough to lure SOME of you 18,000 alleged readers out, how about a well-placed kick in the giblets?
For Amber Waves
of Grain (Alcohol)...
Now that the election is over and our hangovers are dissipating (You try playing an election night drinking game where you have to do a shot every time somebody says “too close to call”) it’s time to transition from Barack n Roll back to plain old Rock n Roll with renewed vigor. And that’s a campaign promise the LGC intends to keep! We’ll be playing our usual home away from home, Sue’s Sunset House, on Friday, November 21, but then a mere two days later, we’re honored to be playing More Sugar’s 15th Anniversary Party on Sunday, November 23rd. Details are sketchy as of now, but then again, so are we.
Drink Up, Throw Down, Throw Up
Meanwhile the LGC are busy planning their costumes and calendars around the return of The Scared Stiffs — rising from the grave for two nights of bone-chilling, flesh-eating Halloween fun. Whoever said “rock is dead” must have just come from a show creature-featuring these guys!
Oh yeah, may we once again recommend the latest LGC libation below — THE BRAIN HEMORRHAGE. Never has a more disgusting cocktail been more appropriate for a holiday — seriously, this thing looks like a pavement oyster suspended in formaldehyde... ENJOY!
1 oz Peach Schnapps
1 tsp Bailey's Irish Cream
2 drops Grenadine
Pour the Peach Schnapps into a large shot glass. Slowly add the Bailey's and top with the grenadine.
Oh, by the way (shssssh), Mystery Gig in November....
Atom Smashed
A Lifesize Gorgeous Toast to the newly revved-up giant Swiss Proton Beam Particle Collider which will either:
- Finally reveal the deep dark mysterious origins of the genesis of our planet
- Open up matter-eating black holes which will ultimately destroy our planet.
At this point, either
outcome is sort of okay with us. If it is truly the
beginning of the end, then we leave you with these delectable
shots of the gang at Otto’s Birthday Bash a
couple of weeks ago, where atom-smashing and sour
mashing coexisted in equal measure.
But if the only black
hole in our future is Sarah Palin’s, then by god get
your ass to the next Sunset House gig in Peekskill,
Friday, September 19th. That’s
back to FRIDAYS.
Take note Calendar Girls!
And if we somehow manage
to cling to our mortal coils beyond
that, there’s The Scared Stiff’s own Chris Laubis’ annual Birthday
Crusade happening (and we mean
happening) at Seany B’s in Millbrook, NY on
October 11th. Bands sharing the stage with The LGC
are slinky voodude rockers Black Cat Xing and
rode-hard-and-put-way-wet journeymen, Steel Rodeo.
Stewed Da Baker
If you’re going DUI, you
might as well DIY in style — with a 383
six pak powered, 500 horse ’66 Dodge
Charger boasting a worked 727 torque flite trans and
a 3:91 posi rear. (Plenty of grunt to blow up
any skirt!) Here’s Stewed gearing his ride up
for Otto’s Birthday Bash at The Sunset House in Peekskill
on Saturday, August 23rd, featuring the steamy
return of our very own Goddesses of Gyration: The
Luscious Lushes.
ALSO a rare
rumored-to-be-true reemergence of those Bad Boys of
the Boneyard — The Scared Stiffs!
Be there or beware!
Time Flies
When You're Having Rum
Summer’s swinging and the blender’s getting more action than an Army Base Liquor Store Hooker. All of which leads us to the evil pleasures of Rum -- the cheap, murky mistress of mariners worldwide.
While some members of our favorite band, like “Bosun” Brown Tornado, strictly follow Captain Morgan off the plank, others like Otto prefer the landscape-erasing, tsunami effects of a fine Jamaican White Overproof. Stewed, of course enjoys his Mount Gay.
Whatever your pleasure, rum’s no fun unless it’s imbibed in true witch doctor fashion -- mixed with several other paralyzing poisons of the central nervous system, some fresh fruit, and served in what else? A handsomely horrific Tiki mug!
So da doo rum rum until you da don’t no more! And do stay tuned -- the Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails are taking July to learn new songs to unleash on the unsuspecting masses August 23rd (Otto’s Birthday!) at the Sunset House in Peekskill.
Okole Maluna!
Scheissenweiss and Spaetzlehoff
The German American Club
show was one for the record books. Never before has
the band been so showered in delicious beer and fine
dinery! (For the record: we have been showered in
beer before, but it was quite literally -- and
probably Bud Light.) Thanks again to Kathy, who
surprised the living crap outta B-boy Paul and to all
our new friends and fans. Especially the ones in the
fourth grade.
Next up - our sonic cup
of rock runneth over in Connecticut this Friday at
Hot Shots in Newtown!
Raucus Roll!
If you missed Chris’s B-Day bash at Seany B’s in Millbrook, you
missed an unforgettable night (which is weird,
because I forget most of it). Scraps of memory
include blurry visions of extreme rock ‘n roll
excess, free-flowing booze, gifts, cameras,
lesbian kisses and -- courtesy of Arlene (Her
Highness of Master-Baking) -- a Lifesize
Gorgeous Dragon cake that tried to eat ME. Oh,
and viciously good sets from Chris’s
cherry-picked band of go-to gunslingers, as well
as the rode-hard-and-put-away-wet real fuckin’
deal, Steel Rodeo.
The LG Cocktails, of course,
burned like a thousand suns until
they flamed out in a sonic supernova of
monitorless magma that somehow, but not
unexpectedly, included Dino.
Special thanks to Johnny and Thea from JV Productions for getting us lubed up at the pre-party party and to Plushie and Gary for putting us up (and putting up with us) at Club Bubble. And to all our friends who show up all the time -- you know we love you!
Next up – THE SUNSET HOUSE in Peekskill on November
16th. Every third Friday of
every month - we’re there, so you be there.
There, there…
Then, get your ghoul on and go see The Scared Stiffs (featuring LGC’s own Otto Wino) Saturday October 27 at the spookiest Stompfest of all – Frankenstein’s Fortress in Stanfordville, NY.
NOTE: New photos up from the October 5th Sunset House and October 13th Seany B's shows.
RUMOR OF THE WEEK – The LifeSize Gorgeous Cocktails crack Connecticut for the first time when they (allegedly) might appear at Hot Shots in Newtown on December 7th -- a day that doesn’t necessarily need any extra infamy, but we’ll be more than glad to provide it.
Booze? Music? Birthdays?
No
reason to skip the orgy of unearthly delights
happening this Saturday at
Seany B’s
up in Millbrook. It’s Chris’ b-day and he’s
Scared Stiff
with excitement! There’s gonna be great tunes and
tasty brew flowing all night long.... We even hear
there’s gonna be midget-juggling bears on unicycles
with a wolverine shaving contest happening later in
the evening. Winner gets to keep Chris chained to the
radiator in their basement for a year! (Don’t worry
-- he eats very little: just keep his water bowl
filled with beer.)
But come early! The Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails are doing their thing at 8ish – a one-set sex assault on your senses before releasing the stage to the other amazing bands for sloppy seconds and thirds. Bring wetnaps!
Another gig!
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