...well, you… no! Not making any. ‘Cause every time we end up not only breaking them, but chopping them up into little pieces and burying them in a shallow grave. And then we feel guilty. Like the time we vowed to give up drinking rum after we woke up to find ourselves naked and duct-taped to the bow of a fishing boat like a fleshy mermaid. Or that time we crossed tequila off our list after that Disney World “incident” involving Snow White and Papa Smurf. It may be a small world, but it’s a huge legal expense. Oh, and what about that Octoberfest that lasted till Decemberfest? Stewed still has an accordian lodged in the nether-crevices of his lederhosen.



So to save ourselves the guilt and embarrassment of not living up to some stupid goals, we’re promising ourselves jack-bodiddly. But we do promise you, our besotted battalions of friends and fans, that we will be back in February with a renewed sense of wreckless rock (and driving) and the vow that we will make 2010 the most bestest year to ever follow 2009! We promise.

Cross our eyes and hope to die.

Tags: Thanks, Fans, Holiday

Come out and kiss 2009 on the behind as your favorite band of pie-eyed pipers torches up the Sunset House in Peekskill like faulty lights on a dried up Xmas tree!



This is it - the last show of the first decade of the century... and we’re pulling out all the slops. Join The Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails for a holiday to remember to forget!

This Friday, December 18th, starting at 10.

With very special guests: The Luscious Lushes Go-Go-Dancers and, appearing as himself, world-famous Elvis tribute artist, Michael Vegas!

Tags: Restaurant, Bar, Performance, Lushes, Holiday

Hey, Regulars!

Sorry for the long delays between communiqués, but the band took off the month of August to hit the beach for a little well-deserved R & R (Relaxation and Rum). Predictably, one R & R led to another coupla R’s (Rehab Redux) but now that that little inconvenient truth is behind us, we can get back to our regularly scheduled party liquor and gluggin' good times.

But that doesn’t mean we’ve been neglecting the rock, no, sir. Spent some time with BF’nF Jeff Cuervo Goldberg down in his Philly den of all that is audio, Vinyl Snake Studios, placing some salt on the rim of The Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktail’s first full-length record, tentatively titled 7 & 7.  We’re almost at the point where we're ready to stick the little umbrella in it, so stay tuned and save up all your money because when that bitch comes out, someone’s gonna get crushed in the midnight sale madness.

Other diversions: a trip down to Brooklyn to surf the wild Gowanus with the third annual Psychobilly Luau. Highlights included The Scared Stiffs own Dr. Matte Black’s band -- The Wanda Jackson Five -- and an ultra-rarified performance by the Scariest Band in the World… Deadbolt. Lowlights included Former Smarmy Agent Jeff Valley’s car catching fire on the first leg of the trip and almost torching a birthday party full of six year olds.


He Otto Know Better. Otto clicks with Deadbolt.

Tags: Performance, Holiday

Ever wonder about that? Why was Rudoph’s nose so bright? Was he really best choice for Santa’s designated driver? (Guess Blitzen’s DUI’s finally caught up with him.)

Anyho, ho, ho....

Time to rev up all our reindeer drinking games again, hang mistletoe in all the most strategic positions (beltbuckles) and rock your stockings off in the holliest, jolliest way we know how... by dropping our Xmas Yule Log Rock Show on Sues’s Sunset House (December 19th @ 10 pm).

Featuring the return of Mai Tai Mike on guest guitar and as always, of course... the nicest, naughtiest group of gift-wrapped Go-Go dancers to ever melt a North Pole -- THE LUSCIOUS LUSHES!

Tags: Bar, Restaurant, Performance, Lushes, Holiday